Anyone who knows me knows that I am an avid fan of Dr. Phil!  I’m officially coming out of the closet with this. And I don’t care if the whole world knows it, because he is just extremely wise.

 

A little while ago, I watched an episode where he introduced this idea of “The 4 Stages Of Readiness For Change”. And I thought to myself, well there he goes again being a genius! Here are the four stages of readiness when it comes to change, according to Dr. Phil.

“Stage 1: Compelled by authority to change.
Stage 2: Comply to escape criticism. (‘It’s when everybody expects you to do it, so you fulfill their expectations.’)
Stage 3: Intellectually aware of the need for change.
Stage 4: Mentally and emotionally self-motivated by change.
‘Stage 4 is when you can honest to God say, ‘I am so sick to death of this that I will not put up with this for another second, for another minute of another hour of another day. I don’t care how scary it is, I don’t care what’s on the other side, I will not put up with this for another second. I will change this, I don’t care what it takes.’ That’s when you get change,’ Dr. Phil explains.”

Check out the video here!

I can think of so many different examples in my own life where I was changing my habits due to some external, outside force. And when it only comes from the outside, you will not feel fulfilled while doing it and it won’t be lasting habit change.

 

For example, when it comes to being organized and cleaning the house, I used to only be externally motivated to clean by an authority figure (my mom). Then, at Stage 2, I did it to escape criticism (I only de-cluttered when having company come visit me at my old apartment). At Stage 3, I started understanding intellectually that I needed to keep the house cleaner for my own sanity, but didn’t know where to start. And now, at Stage 4, I’m really starting to do it because I can no longer deal with the mental clutter and chaos that results from a cluttered space.

 

This is also true for me when it comes to exercising and eating well! At Stage 1, I used to exercise because of an authority figure making me (gym class). Then, at Stage 2, I did it to escape criticism (because I didn’t want to get rejected by others for being overweight). At Stage 3, I really started to understand how i feel physically and mentally when I don’t take care of my body (sluggish and bloated and stressed out). Now after giving birth to two kids and going through health coaching training, I finally am at Stage 4, where I am now mentally and emotionally self-motivated. I no longer want to feel crappy, so I take pleasure in giving my body what it needs.

 

As we can see, change is a real process that can take some time. So be patient with yourself or others who are in transition!

 

What would you like to change? What stage are you at in your journey?