When I decided to start a self-care website and blog, I walked into a world that is already saturated. There are literally millions of blogs and sites out there. It has actually taken me a long time to start one, because I’ve been plagued by self-doubt. Who am I to create a site and blog when everyone else has one? Why would anyone care about another random person writing about their experiences? Maybe my perspective would be boring. Everyone has a blog–including some pets! How am I supposed to compete with that?!

But, the truth is, each of us has a powerfully unique voice and story. We all have a personal truth: the sum total of who we are and what we believe, that is always changing and growing. Every single experience we have is written into our souls to make us who we are: our experiences, our philosophies, our triumphs, our setbacks, etc. Our personal truths are uniquely our own. Scientifically speaking, NEVER in the history of this planet has there been another person just like me or just like you. You are the first, and the only: a timeless original. How miraculous is that!? And so, why shouldn’t everyone have a website, when everyone has a story that is as unique as a fingerprint or DNA?!  

And while some people may get their inspiration from Daisy the Cat, others will be inspired by what I have to say, because my words and stories will speak specifically to their hearts. It will be just what that particular person needs to hear.  

And so, creating this site, in many ways, is a personal challenge. As I write and preach self-care for others, I am also benefiting as well. Maintaining this site forces me to rise above my own self-doubt and remind myself of my own unique beauty that can’t be copied, my own voice that deserves to share the stage with others (even talented cats).

Here are some other reasons you should spend time invested in yourself and getting to know yourself and your personal truth:

• Knowing who you are and being in touch with your personal truth helps you grow in countless ways. It helps you heal old wounds and grow as an individual.

• There is also a freedom that comes from being totally honest with yourself. As I deepen my appreciation of myself, I get more in touch with what my true needs and desires are, not what society or others expectations of me are. I am becoming a PhD in Myself, and it is beautiful. I am learning how to listen to myself and honor my wants and needs. I think back to all the times I have pretended to be someone other than my full self, and it was debilitating.

• Understanding and being able to share your personal truth is a deeply revolutionary act: the more understanding you are of yourself, the better you can be to others. When we understand what motivates our own actions, it allows us to have empathy for others in similar situations. It helps us build empathy. By sharing stories, we commune with each other, and we inform. How can we really seek to understand others when we don’t understand ourselves? How can we hope to build and create loving community with others if we don’t understand ourselves?   

• Knowing who you are means you are less likely to fall for the okey-doke, in your own personal life and as a member of a community.When you don’t know who you are, you are easily swayed, and are much quicker to follow someone else’s agenda. 

If you’re curious, here is a slice of my personal truth. At this precise moment in time, as I write these words, I am a spirit. I am connected to God and I strive to find it in all things. I am Black, I am woman, I’m a mother, I’m a daughter, I’m a teacher, and a lover in every sense of the word. I’m in love with a man, and the entire world. Despite chaos around me, I remain an eternal optimist. I believe in people. I have laughed tremendously in my life and I’ve also cried a great deal. I have looked at myself as beautiful, and there were other times when I could hardly look at myself. I have looked at life as both the greatest blessing, and other times has the greatest curse. I hope that my stories and my experiences serve to help my people and also my community.

It’s a lesson I keep learning: the goal is not to compete with others’ narratives, but to be in touch with our own personal truths. To be completely honest with ourselves and to accept ourselves as beautiful, blessed, and whole no matter what “mistakes” we make. To be completely honest with ourselves about our imperfections and to still love ourselves and each other–these are the greatest freedoms!

Welcome to this space.

“ABOVE ALL ELSE, TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE” — Polonius, Hamlet (William Shakespeare)
“IF YOU DON’T STAND FOR SOMETHING YOU’LL FALL FOR ANYTHING” — Malcolm X