Happy Spring! 🙂 As we roll into April, the weather is getting warmer and we are getting closer to vacation weather (aka swimsuit season, and cute clothes weather). For some, this season inspires happiness and excitement, but for so many of us, it inspires dread and worry.

This is a time of year I used to have mixed feelings about. On the one hand, I LOVE the sun! As a  woman with Caribbean and Southern roots, I NEED the sun in my life. BUT, on the other hand, I’d start getting nervous about the idea of showing my body. Hot weather means more skin after all… or at least that it’s too warm to hide in a winter wardrobe.

I so desperately wanted to be out and enjoy the beach without a care! But, instead, I spent much of my time needlessly wearing oversized clothes–sweating, hot, and miserable–hoping that people wouldn’t notice my untoned arms, rolls, and extra curves.

I would stare at myself in the mirror and pick myself apart, and worry about what everyone else would think of me. I had desperately defined myself as “overweight” and “unattractive”, and it truly made me feel as though I were unworthy.

Unfortunately, I’m not alone… so many of us can relate to that. According to recent surveys, 80% of women are unsatisfied with some part of their bodies, and only 18% of men are satisfied with theirs! (Scary!)

Also, like so many others, I have spent the bulk of my life going up and down with my weight–typically within a 30 lb range. When I was a little kid, I was at my happiest and never thought about my body image. It wasn’t until middle school, when I started to gain weight that I learned to hate my body.

As I got older, my weight would fluctuate based on how motivated I felt about working out. There would be times that I was really motivated to exercise, but the second I started getting busy, or feeling comfortable because I was satisfied with my weight, my workout regimen would slow down and I’d pick my old bad eating habits (i.e. eating because I was stressed out or felt I deserved it after all the work I’d done, etc.). Ultimately, when I got pregnant with my now 2 year-old daughter, I suddenly gained 50 lbs, and had to gain real with myself about it and the habits that got me there.

The biggest impact of all of this up and down weight throughout my life was that I never felt secure in my own skin. I either felt overweight or I worried about gaining weight. When I was feeling insecure about my body (even sometimes after I lost weight) I avoided mirrors as often as possible, and wore loose fitting clothes that I could hide in. I avoided getting my picture taken, and as a result have very few pictures from middle school. I felt like I was living on a roller coaster.

FINALLY, I’d had enough.

For several years now, I have been on a journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love. I had enough of loving myself conditionally, and feeling like a victim of life. I started investing in my personal growth by reading books, getting counseling, investigating my spirituality, getting coached, and getting my health and life coaching certifications. The process of becoming a Coach forces you to be really introspective, and I learned how much my own fears, and lack of self-worth were holding me back, and especially when it came to feeling good in my skin.

I’ve come to realize that the odds against us loving our bodies are huge, because we’ve all been taught to be “perfect”. But, while it’s hard as hell, you CAN fight back against it. I’ve learned that a healthy and content relationship with your body starts in your mind first, and should not be based on what you look like. If you don’t like your body now, I guarantee you that you will find ways to pick it apart when you lose the weight too. I definitely did!

But, taking the time to work on my mindset WHILE working on my health and body helped me come to this INCREDIBLE place of self-love and acceptance that I haven’t felt since I was a kid. I truly do operate with unconditional love for my body–a feeling I’m grateful for everyday! My body isn’t always “perfect” by society’s standards or my own, but I am more content than I have ever been. My body truly is my best friend now, and it made the process of getting healthier and dropping weight WAY LESS DRAMATIC. Even if there’s a part of my body that is less toned now, I still allow myself to fully enjoy my life and show up wearing what I want to wear… something I would have never done before.

Here are some tips that helped me transform, and can help you too!

TIPS:

1) Recognize that change takes time. Remember, it’s taken you a lifetime to build the negative body image and habits you’ve created, so they will take time to change. Be patient with yourself as you do work on yourself.

2) Understand that your behaviors and habits have a purpose. We all do things for a deeper reason, and there are many habits we have acquired that help us cope through stress and fears. Have you been sabotaging your health goals, because you are afraid of failure, or because you don’t believe you deserve the life you want? Are you hiding behind something?

3) Repair your relationship with your body. Work on forgiving yourself for all of the many times you’ve hated on your body, fallen off the wagon with healthy eating, etc. and then ask your body to forgive YOU. Then, work to express gratitude to your body for everything your body has allowed you to do, and continues to let you do.

Check out my FREE JOURNAL download to use the exact journals I use.  

4) Find out why you really want to get healthy. Why do you really want to lose weight and be healthy? To get healthy? To look good? Ask yourself on a deeper level why this is important to you. Keep asking yourself “why”, until you come to a reason that is connected to your soul. Initially, when I asked myself why I wanted to lose weight, it was so I could look “good”. But, shockingly, that’s not enough of a reason to get me up early at workout, or eat healthy when fast food was so easy and convenient. When I really looked under the surface, I realized that my deeper why was that I just wanted to feel happy and accept myself. That’s a reason I’ll get out of bed for!   

5) Create a plan, work to stick to it, but don’t beat yourself up when it doesn’t go as planned.

6) Recognize that we all need help! None of us can do it alone. As you heard me mention, I’ve had all sorts of support to help me work on my mindset and stay consistent.

If you need more help, each out to me for a free clarity call OR Sign up for my FREE webinar: Love Yourself to Weight Loss! When you register, you’ll get access to the slides and all kinds of free gifts. Hope to see you there!