There are times in life when everything appears to be going well, and it seems like smooth sailing. There are also those moments in life when it seems like the sky is falling. February was a crazy month for me, and while there were great moments had, and good memories, there were a lot of moments that were the embodiment of “when it rains it pours!”.

Just to give you an idea of how much goes down every year, you should know that over half of my immediate family members were born in February or March: my dad, my brother, my father-in-law, my husband, my mom, my step daughter, my step mom, our baby, and my stepmother-in-law was born at the end of January. (There are also a host of close friends who have birthdays during these months too!)

So, these two months are always a blur of birthdays, which would seem fun at first glance. But, it also has become a reflection on how much everyone has grown, and how much older we are all getting. This time of year, thanks to Black History Month and all of these birthdays, has become ONE SOLID MONTH of reflection and looking back, which can be great, but also feel a little heavy and deep. Sometimes, it’s too much.  

There are also some recent things that have impacted our family that came up this February: applying to schools for my daughter; an ear infection for the baby; car trouble that took one car out of commission; me not getting paid on time and waiting for over a month; the teacher’s strike in Oakland (my husband being an Oakland teacher and me being a contract employee); the violent turmoil in Haiti (me being Haitian American); the anniversary of my husband’s grandmother’s death; the first anniversary of my mom’s passing (which incidentally happened a few days before her birthday), etc. All of these things happened while we tried to carry on the normal everyday life duties of work, my business, and parenthood! (Whew!)

There were plenty of times that were so overwhelming, when it felt like it moving forward seemed impossible. There were definitely moments when I wondered if I was on the right path and if pursuing my business goals was making life harder for our family. There were times I doubted my dreams and goals.

FORTUNATELY, I have learned to use certain tools that help me out during some of life’s heavier moments, that help me continue onward. Let them support you too!

• Allow yourself time and space to deal with something difficult.

Sometimes when we’re down, we feel like we have to keep pushing and moving. It’s natural, there is so much we are responsible for. But there are those times, when we just can’t ad try to anyway. While it’s amazing and commendable to want to soldier on, it’s important to listen to our bodies and spirits and take a break.

Our bodies are our best friends and have our backs; they always know exactly what we need to feel balance and equilibrium again. It’s ok to take time for yourself, and it should be mandatory to honor that! Taking the time you need to heal or rest is an important productivity tool too. If you try to keep pushing, you won’t feel restored. You will only be able to give the ones you love and your important tasks your leftovers. If you want to make progress professionally and personally, this is mandatory.

• Keep all of your negative thoughts in check!

When you’re struggling or overwhelmed, it’s VERY easy to spend most of your time stuck on the problems. Problems and challenges have a way of feeling HUGE, and insurmountable. It’s easy to feel as though a problem can have no solutions. But, we must be careful, because that kind of thinking can lead to hopelessness and no action at all! Our negative, fear-based thoughts while sometimes useful can start to run the show when we’re feeling overwhelmed, and they can send us untrue messages about how big the problem really is. These thoughts can also make us feel as though we are incapable of dealing with it. I used to get trapped there a lot.

It’s important to keep track of all of the positive and healing things that are happening around you. Journaling about all the things you forgive yourself for (whether big or small), all the things you are proud of yourself for, and what your grateful for everyday if possible is a massively important healing step. These thoughts will help remind you that you are capable and your life is not hopeless. (Get my journal prompts here!)

• Make a plan.

Have you ever noticed how much better you feel after you write down a to-do list? Or after you write our specific action steps towards a goal? It feels good to have a plan! We feel reassured, calmer, more in control of a situation, and challenges stop feeling so insurmountable. After you’ve worked on your mindset and negative thoughts, creating a plan is a great tool. It actually helps to relieve stress.

Having monthly and weekly goals, keeping a calendar, having a financial checklist, and a daily to-do list have all helped me live more intentionally. These tools help me use my time more efficiently, so I can accomplish the things that are most important to me AND still have some time for myself. (Check out my FREE planner page here!)

• Get Help!

This is the MOST important one for me, but one of the hardest for us to actually do. Remember, our society was not always so individualistic. Families used to be closer in distance and more supportive of each other. It used to be common to have a community of people around who could help support you with meal prep, childcare, financially, therapeutically, etc. Many of us have to build support for ourselves now, but it IS worth it. Your sanity is everything. Make a goal to outsource and get help from a professional!    

REMEMBER, YOU GOT THIS!